Thursday, 4 October 2012


Hi all, to celebrate National Poetry Day, here's a little ode for you...


When climate change has had its way and we're facing our Dark Night,
There's only one upon this earth who can lead us to the Light.
Only one man with the power to take away our fears.
The Saviour of the Human Race,
The marvellous Ray Mears.

Ray, he don't need matches, and a tent he don't require;
In thirty seven minutes flat his home's built by his fire.
It's made of sticks and snail-shells and shining sacred things.
As Ray weaves his bower, he lifts his chins and sings...

My name's Ray Mears, the Lord of Earth.
All life cheers at my mention.
I alone possess the skills that ease survival tension.

All women crave my pleasure,
All men vie for my praise.
All hats flung high as I go by;
Sweet Saviour of your days.

I'll brew you up some birch-sap wine.
I'll whittle you a staff.
You love me and you need me.
At your helplessness I laugh.

I accept your tribute graciously,
No more than is my due.
I own the body and the soul of every one of you.

I loathe you and despise you,
You weak pathetic scum.
You will give your hearts to me.
My Kingdom Come.”

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