Well, election time is almost here. As an American I can say with some authority that our 2,567th favorite pastime (positioned just behind the annual tradition of reading horoscopes found on the 1982 newspaper that your mom used to protect your Christmas ornaments while in storage) would most likely be voting. And since I am currently residing across the pond I am lucky enough to get the opportunity to vote early through the medium of postal ballot. Since sending my absentee ballot to my friendly polling locale, the election is definitely on my old crunchy peanut bar (Yank slang for "brain"). I've been looking into forecasts and portendses and estimations of voting populaces and I must say that one little nugget of statistical statistics has me, dare I say, alarmed! The percentage of monsters registered to vote is remarkably low. Remarkably low indeed! So remarkable that I am forced to remark! O!
Given this remarkable lack of figures I have been forced to adopt the position that there are a host of people out there who must not be aware that they are in fact monsters (how else could you explain the re-election of George II; or support for Todd Akin). So, I've taken the initiative and have corralled several of the worlds leading teraspsychologists to painstakingly compile a survey that I think will help a great many of you step out of the darkness of self-unawareness and into the light of un-self-unawarenss. So, if you would be so kind, here are the cognitive apples from my learned friends' herculean efforts. Good luck.